JTHM vs DaT
by draconas88
Summary: a fan fiction based on the Invader Zim and jthm worlds after both series have ended and what happens when they collide, its going to be very dark, most characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez complete cast list of characters will be added soon
1. part one: zim's plan

[authors note: the story has undergone a compete reformatting so it's easier to read enjoy!]

nothing is visible and in the distance you can hear someone in boots approaching then in a chillingly clear voice they half whisper...

"lady's and gentlemen...boy's and girls....dieing time's here..."

then a slew of slashing sounds are heard as the letters "JTHM" in red appear as if carved in flesh with small blood lines trailing out of each of the letters that have appeared while the boots can be heard walking away

once the final echo's of the boots is sounded a screen can be heard warming up followed by a grim sounding militaristic voice saying

"yes my tallest...what planet will we be burning today..."

then a laser sounds burning the letters "DaT" in irken as they glow purple with smoke coming off them and as the screen can be heard powering down

a soft demonic wailing mixed with a hissing causes the word "verses" in green to appear as if they are crumbling into existence between the two words with a eerie green light shining out of them

(fade to the next scene with the words still on the screen then they fade)

PART ONE:  
ZIM'S PLAN

(On board the massive in the tallest's chamber Zim is on screen while the tallest are only half listening to Zim's ranting about his new plan with the bloodsport playing on the P.I.P.)

"...A big plan, a tall plan, a plan to make me greater then you finks"

"mmhmm, oh interesting and how do you plan on doing this when you are nothing but an exiled maggot?" chuckled Red

"I'm glad you asked fucktards, these last few months I have been working on a device so fiendish it can make even a Smeet a tallest "

"what! Why, why the fuck do you want to become a tallest" said a rather angry and nervous Purple

"I was thinking how could I make the greatness that is ZIM even greater, and I thought how great my tallest were so I figured if I make my self tall I will be the greatest Irken ever *brings hand in front of mouth and clenches it into a fist while saying the next line* greater and taller then you then the armada will be mine and everyone will tremble at the name ZIM"

tallest Red and Purple just stared at Zim with a dumb yet slightly terrified expression on their faces

"well see you when I'm taller Zim out" then the screen shut off leaving a burnt image of Zim's face on there because he was talking for so long

"what will we do, what will we do, WHAT THE FUCK WILL WE DOOO!" screamed Purple

Red then spun around and bitch slapped Purple causing him to shut up instantly "master!" said an irken elite adorned in purple and black standing near the door "It's ok Xen just go get me some chipz" "sir" then Xen left the bridge cannon

"we will do what we should have done a long time ago..."

"You don't mean?" said purple as the piece of donut fell out of his mouth "Yes I do mean it...we will call _him _to fix our little problem before it becomes a big one"

(Zoom out from the massive and eventually showing the armada burning the face of another world. fade to black)

**********


	2. Part two: A night out

PART TWO:

A NIGHT OUT...

(Fade from black. to a small unkempt house with the numbers 777 on the front and the sun just about to set with a kid playing on the lawn next door with a tatty looking bear, as the front door on the small house opens Johnny steps out on to the veranda smelling the air and making a face he showing is sickened by it)

"Hiya Mr. Scary neighbor man" the kid calls out

"hey Squee"

"are you going again?"

"yes but not for a vacation this time"

"then...where are you going?"

"I was going out to...have some fun...but I will be back soon"

"Can I come too?"

"Nope, I'm going out to have some...adult fun and I might need you to get the bactine"

"what do you mean by adult fun and why would you need bactine, last time I saw you, you became nice?"

"i'm going to go to the city and play some games involving my...toys, and making people pincushions"

"SQUEE! I hope I never become an adult"

Johnny then heard voices in his head faintly whispering _"you know you could technically make his wish come true..."_ then Johnny shook his head at these thoughts and tilted his head side ways smiled and said "don't worry not all adult fun is as bad as that...most of it is much, much worse!"

"SQUEEEEEEEE!"

Johnny then looked up to the sky "oh well time to get going I'll see you later Todd"

"l-l-l-later J-J-Johnny"

and then Johnny set off down he street heading towards the city humming to the beat of punish me by raminggstone.

The twilight now in effect the street lights coming on as Johnny was walking down the foot path each street light flicking on as he walked under it,

then he could see them the four thugs flying blut colors Johnny smirked at the irony of tonight's targets then unsheathed his knives and held them downwards as to not alert his prey with their reflection then shook his head and was no longer Johnny but was Nny the man who he had become in the recent years

just as he was ten meters away from them he stepped on a pebble and it cracked under his foot the four thugs spun around and Nny stopped and tilted his head sideways looking at the thugs, the thugs now a little skittish at not being able to see what made the noise then the street light above Nny flickered on

"ha, ha, ha, lookie 'ere we got our selves a lost little cracker who thinks 'e can play with knives" the other thugs laughed at the leaders comments "yeah Zac tell that bitch what we think of him!"

"You will be the last to die!"

"Ooh! I'm gunna be the last to die, ha, ha, ha! Yeah right, what you gunna do to us little man, we got you surrounded!" jeered Zac

"this!" Nny then thrust the knives into the thugs to his left and right in the face lifted him self up hinging off the knives and kicked Zac in the chest knocking him over then somersaulted and kicked the last thug on top of his head cracking his skull and shattering the bones in his neck

"hmmm, looks like I didn't spill a drop on this one, too bad about these two they are bleeding out like stuck pigs, oh well" said Nny shrugging then bent over and ripped the knives out of their skulls and turned to Zac and saw him running down a back ally "ooh a chase its been a while since I had to chase someone" Nny then grinned and started sprinting after him.

"Help me! Help me!" banged Zac on the roller door of the ware house

"let that foo' in before the pigs in blue show" came a smooth voice from behind the door one of the roller doors opened up to waist height and let Zac in then the 7ft 3 doorman jimmy bubbles grabbed him neck and dragged him to the throne in the back of the Ute and dropped him on the ground

"now tell me the real Poop Dogg" "POOP DOGG" cheered the gang members in unison "what happened?"

"Well shit went down like this we were on the corner pushin' the shit like we normally do then some crazy mo'fo' with these knives as long as his arms kills Ken-e, B-bop and P.M. Jr. then he started chasing me I think I lost him a few blocks ago!"

"Well your little knife wieldin' friend can be fixed, jimmy get mah pal here a 9mil" jimmy then went over to a weapons crate and pulled out a 9mil hand gun and smacked a magazine in it and pulled 2 spare magazines the threw them to Zac "now go out there and teach that mo'fo' not to mess with Poop Dogg" "POOP DOGG! POOP DOGG! POOP DOGG!"

Zac walked down the street looking out for that freak then across the street Zac saw him and they locked eyes then a bus speed past and he was gone then he turned to walk back towards the warehouse and Nny was standing right in front of him Zac fell on the ground and shot blindly at Nny when he opened his eyes a Hobo was standing there

"what the hell was that for I just asked you for some change" then he pulled out a flask filled with bullet holes leaking out moon shine "now how am I meant to forget I'm poor"

"here think of it as a gift from Poop Dogg" and threw a small satchel of white powder at the Hobo

"thanks" "I remember when I used to be Poop Dogg and one time one of my homies was being chased by some psycho with knives"

"what the hell are you talking about? And what happened to that foo' who was being chased by a psycho?"

"I'm reminiscin' and ummm he shot at a Hobo broke his flask then when the Hobo left the psycho killed him because he was standing behind his back the entire time...oh well time to go" then as the Hobo walked off and Zac looked over his shoulder

"phew that Hobo was lying about that cracker behind my back"

"no he wasn't" then Nny grabbed Zac by his dreadlocks and dragged him kicking and screaming while nobody on the street really gave a crap as to what was happening

he took him into a back ally lifted him a foot off the ground and drove a knife into the wall holding him up by his hair while he was just able to tippy toe to keep from being scalped

"now I'm gunna have some fun with your friends don't go away I'll be back for you later!" then Nny ran to a ladder well and started climbing up to the roof then disappeared with a swish of his tatty trench coat over the rail of the building.

"Where the hell is that idiot he should have dealt with his psycho problem by now"

"yeah, he probably shot himself in the foot and is at the hospital by now" the crowd of gang members burst into laughter and was interrupted by a rattling on the roller door when jimmy opened the roller door and looked out into the street no one was there except a coked out bum twitching in the gutter then jimmy shut the door and as he turned around to Poop Dogg his jaw dropped down in a look of utter stupidity

"what? What the hell is the problem?!" then Poop Dogg felt the cold touch of Nny's blade on his neck as he stuck his head out from behind the throne then all the gang members drew their guns and aimed at Nny's head he pressed the blade even closer to his neck causing a small bead of blood to run down his neck

"put your guns away you idiots, I take it by your being here you killed Zac? And how did you get in?"

"No he is still alive and is currently just hanging around and I got in through the broken window above a stack of crates"

"so what do you want?"

nny then breathed in deep and said in a whisper "To paint my wall" then he slit Poop Dogg's throat and kicked the throne into the crowd.

(Cut to out side looking up at a window you can here screaming and gunshots as the windows flash from the gun fire then the gun fire stops and you can hear glass being broken as someone is walking around then one last blood curdling scream fade to black as the scream dies out)


	3. part three: cleaning up the mess

PART THREE:  
CLEANING UP THE MESS  
(Police cars and ambulances are parked out side the ware house lights flashing as paramedics carry buckets of body parts and putting them in the back of the trucks cars and anywhere they can put them)

"Damn, he made a mess this time" said a police officer with a scar above his right eye

"yeah, I just hope we can get all the evidence out of here before they show up" said another officer as he dipped his donut into his coffee "if I just had some evidence that Z? Existed *takes bite of donut* I could get the city wide manhunt for him started *takes another bite* but because of them they always come, take over *finishes donut and reaches to holster and gets another one* then they sweep it under the rug"

"yeah every time I file a report on a green kid terrorizing citizens the file goes "missing" you know what I mean"

"yeah I do...damn it they are here look go inside and take a couple of photos of his calling card then meet me at the Mac meaties on maple"

"why? And which one?"

"I'm out of meat donuts and the other one now get going!" then the police officer rushed into the warehouse then a black four door car with a blue insignia of an eyeball surrounded two semi circles and little triangles at the gaps in the of semicircles on the doors and hood pulled up and two people stepped out of the car and were wearing balaclavas, goggles and voice changers and long black trench coats and flashed some id with the same insignia on it

"**I'm agent Darkbootie and this is agent Nessie we're here to take over**"

"yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the deal, ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY THE EYES ARE HERE TIME TO GO HOME!"

Darkbootie and Nessie then stood there watching the police drive off and when the police were gone Darkbootie took off his head gear and went to the boot and pulled out a bucket, a mop and some high powered bleach while Nessie taped off the area

"**how long do you think you will be?**"

"You can never tell with Nny, sometimes it can be done in an hour some times all night, depending on what kind of mood he's in" said Darkbootie as he entered the warehouse "why does he do it?"

"**Because we have influenced his entire life to go and kill the criminal element, yes he may harm innocents from time to time but if you remove all the kidnappings and murders he does, the crime rate is down 43%**"

"no not that but putting Z? Where ever he murders some one, he only started doing it after "moose" escaped from behind the wall?"

"**Maybe one of the voices in his head tells him to do it?**"

"What shits me off most is that bloody movie coming out soon Z? : the massacre begins"

"**I was thinking of going out to see that to see how factual it actually is**"

"humph" grunted Darkbootie as he started moping the floor

**********


	4. part four: loose ends

PART FOUR:  
LOOSE ENDS...  
(At the Mac meaties on maple...no the other one)

The scar-faced officer entered and found the chief sitting one table away from the corner and sat down opposite him

"so you got the pictures of his calling card?" said the chief with donut crumbs falling out of his mouth

"Oh, I got that and more!" said the scared officer with enthusiasm in his voice

"What do you mean by more?" the scar faced officer handed the photos over to the chief "what's so special about them?"

"Look in the rafters on the right hand side"

the chief then took out his glasses and then his face became one of shock "you don't mean this is what I think it is?"

"Yep we not only got photos of his card but he was there the entire time I was taking photos" said the scar faced officer,

then the waitress came over to the officers and said "the gentleman who was in here a minute ago told me to give this to you" then she dropped an envelope on the table when the chief looked at the front of it and had "to the chief from Z? " written on it

"What the fuck? he was here!" then the chief then looked around trying to see if he was still near by he then opened the envelope and a napkin dropped out when the chief looked at it, it was a drawing of happy noodle boy in a police car ramming into a building running over a pig in a police uniform and a skinny police officer with a zipper on his head

when they looked out into the parking lot their car was only a foot away from the window and as the car rammed through the wall Nny was catapulted out the windscreen and landed behind the counter then got up and had some glass stuck to his head then he looked down and saw the scar faced officer crawling away "weee lets play hide and seek I'll give you the count of 1 to 10, 1-2- oh I'm bored now 10"

Nny then jumped onto his back and whispered "lets make that zipper on your head go right around" Nny then heard the waitress talking to the police on the phone and jammed his knives into the officers legs stapling him to the ground Nny then backfliped off the police officers back and landed on the counter

"hi" he said with his trademark grin then drew another knife out of his jacket and cut the cord on the phone "tsk, tsk, tsk, I almost forgot about you I don't like your face its ugly lets fix that"

(snap to next scene)

**********


	5. part five: more mess

PART FIVE:  
MORE MESS  
(inside the swollen eyeball patrol car speeding down the highway)

"come in Darkbootie and Nessie this is Disembodied Head we've had another Nny attack in your area report immediately"

darkbootie then reached for the radio grumbling "Darkbootie here what's the location?"

"the Mac meaties on maple" "we're on it Disembodied Head, Darkbootie out"

"Nny's certainly very busy tonight" said Nessie with a small hint of sarcasm in his voice

"this is the third one tonight!" shouted dark bootie kicking the foot rest

"just be glad he doesn't do this every day Darkbootie" he retorted

"yeah, your right how we gunna cover this one up?"

"not sure probably something to do with terrorist-man"

"you got the kit?" he said as she was turning off the highway

"yeah it's in the glove box"

Darkbootie then lent forward and opened the glove box and took out a disguise kit an started gluing hair on his face

"after we clean up this mess then were gunna make a terrorist-man video saying that because the Mac meaties on maple is the headquarters so by doing stuff to it people would be annoyed that all of the Mac meaties closed causing chaos then send that video into the news station" said Nessie

"yeah but because there are two on maple and because he's from out of town he targeted the wrong one"

"that's right" he confirmed with a nod of his head

"oh, ok so I show up in the terrorist-man costume and then run around and freak people out a bit clean up and return?" said Darkbootie as he was putting on an orange terrorist jump suit

"You got it" he confirmed again.

**********


	6. part six: shoppng and news

PART SIX:  
SHOPPNG AND NEWS  
(half an hour later at CD Cesspool)

"hello sir how can I help you?" asked a red haired girl in her late teens

"yes, first don't call me sir, I hate that generalization of humans, and second do you have the new album by Swollen Squirrel?" snapped Johnny

"uhhhh, sorry I'm new something horrible happened to the last store clerk so I got his job and I don't think so, is there anything else I can help you with?" she asked with one of those smiling faces that a store clerk gives you when they are trying too hard to be nice

"yes, do you stock DVD's and DVD players?" johnny said as he was flipping through some CD's as if he was just trying to keep his fingers entertained

"yeah we got some DVD players in the back room as for DVD's what were you looking for?" she said with the hope salesmen get when they think they are about to make a sale

johnny then stopped looking through the CD's and gave all of his undivided attention to her "JTHM"

"is that "Jhonen The Homicidal Maniac", that show about an artist/writer who was screwed around by some television network and now has a personal vendetta against them?" she said while looking like she was thinking

"yes that one" he replied almost blankly

"ummm, yeah we got the first season box set and volume one of season two"

"I'll take them" he said fumbling in his coat as if he was trying to decide what wallet to use

"OK and how will you be paying for that tonight cash, check or credit?"

"how about steel?" he said flashing his famous grin

"Huh?" then Johnny drove one of his knives straight through her skull and out the other side "what just happened, why do I feel like I have a brain freeze, why is your hand in by face, wait what is this? Is this a knife in my head!? There's a knife in my fucking head why did you do this to me?"

"Don't know bored I guess" he said shruging

"you jammed a fucking knife in my skull just because you were bored!? You are just so fucked up!" she screamed at him with hysteria in her voice and on her face

"like I haven't heard that one before" he retorted while rolling his eyes

"well what are you going to fucking do about this!?" screamed the store clerk while pointing at the knife with both hands

"ummm want me to take it out?"

"yes that would be fucking grand!" she wailed

Johnny then reached for the knife and as he started pulling it out she started convulsing causing the knife to shred her face "hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again?"

Johnny then stuck his head out off the store and saw a drunk wandering his way down the walk way upon getting closer Johnny recognized him as Todd's dad then a pair of voices whispered in his ear"_do it, this man hurts Todd every day like Devi hurt you_" "_yes don't you want to help Todd be happy?_" the voices echoed in his head

"yes I do, but it's his dad I don't want the same thing to happen to him as me"

"_fine but one day you will listen to us..._" then his mind shut off dead silent, nothing could be heard not even his own thoughts

emotions welled in Johnny the desire to see another living person with a knife sticking out of his head or Todd's partial happiness then Johnny felt like he was having another argument with the dough boys then it hit him he was just talking to them "but how? How are they talking to me they're dead aren't they?"

"fuck it, I'm going home" then Johnny trudged off home

~~~~~~~~~~

(meanwhile... at the Mac Meaties)

"come in all agents, I repeat come in all agents drop whatever you are doing this is a code 1 direct call from headquarters"

"hey Darkbootie we got a code 1 call" Nessie called out

BANG "ow, a code 1 are you serious!?" said Darkbootie as he was crawling out from under the table while rubbing his head

"all agents are to report to headquarters because Agent Darkice is coming and he says something big is going down, this announcement will be rebroadcast in 5 minutes time Disembodied head out"

"so how are we gunna deal with this?" questioned Darkbootie

"lets just say Terrorist-man just grew some balls" said Nessie as he showed him a boot full of explosives and automatic weapons

"what the hell do you have all that for Nessie?" said dark booty with his eyes almost looking like they are going to pop out of his head

"never know when shit might hit the fan and we get a set issue of equipment each year I just claim it all before the year is up them I get more the next year you should know that" said nessie closing the boot of the car with a pound brick of C4 in hand

"the most I ever get from headquarters is new work clothes, cleaning supplies and a couple of hand guns with a small crate of 9mil bullets"

"do you use any of the bullets?" asked nessie having never seen him fire a single round ever

"yeah, I'm a bit of a bogan at heart and go tin shooting on top of mystical hill every X-mass eve"

"ahhh, so that's why you request every X-mass eve off, ok enough dilly dallying lets just get this done and over with" Nessie then went in side the Mac Meaties and then came running out "start running that way like a maniac and screaming like one too and I'll pick you up a few blocks that way".

(after a few minutes of darkbootie running down the street until he felt puffed)

"damn this jumpsuit is heavy" then the Mac Meaties exploded with enough force to knock Darkbootie off his feet when he got up he screamed

"ha, ha, ha, Terrorist man has struck again!" then he ran some more and eventualy sat down on the street corner next to a storm drain and Nessie pulled up drinking a meatshake "hi need a lift"

"yes what took you so long" said darkbooie asking a rethorical question

"drive through at Mac Meaties" said nessie as he was shaking the cup

"did you at least get me one?" said darkbootie as he was buckling in

"yeah a got us 3 each"

"cool lets go" said dark bootie as he started drinking it

(pan up to the city skyline with the flames from the Mac Meaties in the corner of your point of view. Fade to black)

**********


	7. part seven: let the inquistion begin

PART SEVEN:  
LET THE INQUISTION BEGIN  
(back on the massive in the bridge cannon tallest Purple is briefing Xen as Draconas and Tara enter the room)

"my tallest forgive me for interrupting but what mission is so important you have called me back from the resisty uprising on vort?" said Draconas as he and Tara got down on one knee

"get up you don't have to be so formal, we see you as almost equils" said Purple as he was lifting Draconas by his shoulders directing that comment at draconas leaving tara out due to her lack of height "come sit and I shall brief you on a mission so important if you fail the resisty shall win the war and Zim will be the next and last tallest" said purple with a seriousness in his voice that is seldom used

"HOW HE IS JUST TALLER THAN A SMEET!" said draconas in an out burst before readjusting his demeanor so he was calm

"yes I know, but he right this very minute is working on a device that will even a Smeet a tallest" said purple almost cringing waiting for draconas's next out burst

"FUCKING HELL I WILL KILL THAT LITTLE FUCKER HOW DARE HE TRY TO UNDERMINE MY TALLEST I WILL HANG HIM BY HIS SQUEEDILYSPOOCH!" said draconas throwing out his demeanor

"that's the plan" said Red as he entered the room wearing something akin to an elites uniform instead of his normal garb while twirling a fork in his natural fingers

Draconas then stopped his ranting and his antennae just picked up "did I just hear you right but you want me to go bounty hunting?"

"yes we do..." said red as he stabbed the fork into table

"so why don't you just send SIZZ-LORR?" said draconas skeptically

"he is currently trapped on foodcortia in the middle of a foodening and we need the planet glassed" said purple with a tone that said it's not a request but an order

"why do you want it glassed?" said draconas with what would pass as an irken equivlent of a raised eyebrow

red looked at draconas with a look of as if he was picking up on a hint of defiance and said "we have found out that Zim is not the only nuisance to the Irken empire on Earth but here is the list of the names of all known Irkens who were exiled to earth for the good of the mission by previous tallest's"

Draconas reached over the table and took the vid screen from the table Xen was sitting at and began scaning the seemingly endless list of names on the screen with a number of stars next to each the names indicating how dangerous they are after a while Draconas got bored reading the list and said "vid screen how many known renegade Irkens are on Earth?"

"**approximately 18000 Irkens to date have been exiled or fled to earth**" came back the computer's voice that the tallest have chosen

"so why don't I just glass the planet and get over with it" said draconas with his eyes closed his brows knitted and his hand just where the bridge of his nose would be if he had one

then there was an awkward silence for a short period of time before purple broke it "think of Zim like a cockroachian, unkillable unless you do it for yourself, just leave one piece of him behind and when you least expect it Zim will show up at I don't know...the 1000 year celebration of our galactic conquest and kill everybody starting another war"

"and you the war hero of operation impending doom 2 would be put to shame for not killing Zim" added Red

"yes I see what you mean also might I add a few requests?" said draconas with a calm face

"yes what are they?" said the tallest at the same time

"I want to take some Irken elites and a special guest with me?"

"very well we'll get the elites ready for you but who is the special guest?" said red being puzzled

"the special guest is one of the royal five, and I want to select the elites myself, you Xen your an elite right come over here" when he reached Draconas he then stared into his eyes and Xen looked even harder back "hmmm you have the eyes of a warrior who has an immense amount of malice, if that malice is harnessed correctly it can be your greatest weapon but take it lightly and it will be your downfall"

"I'm well aware of that" said Xen cooly

"I also know all about how you and your 'friend' were trapped on Devastis 60 years ago by Zim during the great black out and if you try and sabotage this mission so Tak can be the one to kill Zim I will shoot you out of the airlock or myself depending on my mood" said draconas sounding like he was making a promise not a threat

"I had no intention of sabotaging this mission because I want to find out what happened to Tak" said Xen with a look of hurt on his face

"what do you mean by that she was on planet dirt a few years ago?"

"she left dirt and hunted Zim, the tallest knew about this because she was going to fill the earth with snacks and give it to them"

"very well I'll give you 12 hours when we get to earth to find Tak and any other info you may find think of it like this you will be a temporary invader after that we hunt Zim and get the job done"

"fine" sniped Xen as he picked up a few things off the table then followed Draconas and Tara as they started to leave the massive then Red raced up to Draconas and asked "which of the royal five do you want to accompany you?" and as the door was shutting on the teleporter Draconas whispered one word "Tika..." then the door shut and left a dumb founded Red standing there.

(show an outside shot of the massive with The Shadow 5 next to it, The Shadow 5 then starts puling away going in the opposite different direction to the armada. Fade to black)

**********


	8. part eight: fillerbunny live!

PART EIGHT:  
FILLERBUNNY LIVE! STARING FILLERBUNNY AND JHONEN VASQUEZ  
(the scene opens at an opera theater the curtain rises up and Fillerbunny steps ford and bows)

"hi I'm Fillerbunny and today I'm gunna entertain you, how I don't know but we'll figure that out very soon, ooh a dollar" bends over to pick it up and a giant pendulum Axe swings where Fillerbunny was just standing "awww, it's a joke dollar"

"how do you know it's a fake dollar?" shouts somebody from the audience

"because it says 'in boom we trust' so yeah it can't be real" throws the dollar behind him after a few seconds it explodes

"man I have no idea what I'm meant to be doing" a fuse lit bomb painted poorly to look like a soccer ball rolls on stage and Jhonen sticks his head out from behind the curtain "psst, juggle it with your feet"

"that's a great idea!" Fillerbunny then walks up to the bomb and starts juggling it with his feet while Jhonen hides behind blast proof glass then Fillerbunny falls over the bomb hits him on the head giving him an egg and bounces into Jhonen's blast proof section and explodes, he then screams all kinds of profanity's then come out on stage with a hair style similar to when Johnny came back from hell and is smoking looking none too happy stalks up to filler bunny pulls out a hand gun and blows his brains all over the stage then turns to the audience bows and stalks off stage still smoking.

(the curtains come down and the audience shouts for encore then curtain comes up)

a wet looking Jhonen comes out wheeling a fish tank full of Fillerbunny's and then he goes back off stage and comes back with a trolley full of jerry cans Jhonen then picks one up and shows the label to the audience it reads "gas" he then smiles maniacally while filling the fish tank he then takes 10 big steps away from the tank procures a Zippo lights it and throws the Zippo into the fish tank and a great pillar of flame shoots to the roof with the sound of the Fillerbunny's screaming in pain then Jhonen raises both hands in the air bows again walks back stage and you can hear him sawing something then a piano falls on the fish tank extinguishing the flames the audience then get up on their feet even the ones in the front row with their eyebrows singed off and begin an almost eardrum bursting applause.

Jhonen steps out from behind the curtains with a microphone and says "there will be no more Fillerbunny ever again, period! they are now extinct the last of their kind was in that fish tank!"

"we're extinct?" said a sad lone Fillerbunny coming out from behind the curtain

Jhonen then spun around on his heels to face the Fillerbunny "you will be soon!" then he went up to the Fillerbunny sticky taped him to a rocket lit the fuse and while laughing maniacally counted down from ten "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 BLAST OFF!" then the rocket shot out of the hall through the roof "THE FUCKING END!" screamed Jhonen he then slammed the microphone down onto the stage and walked off.

(more curtains come down and in the background you can hear a car speeding off and the audience are not entirely sure what their reaction should be, meanwhile....on the moon)

the last Fillerbunny crash lands on the moon "well at least the-" then the rocket explodes sending him grinding through the dirt face first "-never mind" when he looked up a green girl was sitting on a crashed spaceship

"hi my name's Tak do you have any tools?" she said to him

"ummm, no I was just minding my own business then this psycho with red hair and a really bad hair cut tells me I'm extinct then tapes me to a rocket and shoots me here, SO DO YOU THINK I GOT SOME TOOLS! I'm sorry...look I'm really stressed I didn't mean to yell"

Tak shrugged not really caring or listening after the no tools part "well anyway here are the rules the moon is mine, I'm in charge of the moon you stay on your half unless on your half is the dark side and I'll wander onto your half any time I damn well want"

"oh my god! I'm getting away from this place" then the Fillerbunny ran to the dark side of the moon froze instantly and floated away and was eventually sucked into a black hole.

(will he survive?....PROBABLY NOT!)

**********


	9. part nine: johnny's lament

PART NINE:  
JOHNNY'S LAMENT  
(fade from black. Johnny's in his home lying down on a bed)

"what the hell is happening to me I keep hearing the dough boys but they're dead so it can't be them" then he got up and walked to a wall covered with knives and saws "do you think I'm crazy Zac?"

"ou aadddyy arrdda aakaarr"

"oh that's right I cut out your tongue because I got sick of you calling me a 'cracker' and a 'bloody mother fucker' just nod if you agree and shake your head if you don't agree, ok" he said with a smile

then Zac nodded

"so do you think I'm crazy?" Zac nodded again then Johnny crossed the room and opened a draw took out a nail gun and shot him in the abdomen and put it back in the draw and went back to his knives "does your hair hurt?"

Zac reluctantly nodded again and Johnny reached for a scalpel and then cut his hair off with skin still attached while trying to scream then Johnny said "this bores me I'm finished with you" and started the buzz saw and removed his head then sighed when he finished "why is this so damn boring...."

then Reverend Meat came in the room phasing through the wall "I've been listening to your complaints and I can answer that for you"

"you can! tell meeee!"

"you have been giving in to all but one of your urges even though you try resisting them in the end it's futile"

"tell me!, tell me what I lack!" said Johnny shaking Reverend Meat

"it's love! the one emotion that you keep bottled up, the more you bottle it the higher chances of the dough boys have of coming back!"

"so all I have to do is get back with Devi and they will go away?"

"exactly, fulfill your lust for...well lust and they will go away"

"are you sure you don't work for the dough boys?"

"yes, if I worked for them when they came back I'd be out of a job and as I said before I have a hamburger"

"_well the dough boys I can hear them more and more frequently I can't see them but it's just a matter of time, I need to do what Reverend Meat said...I need..._" "I need...Devi...only she can help me I have failed in my quest to relinquish my emotions the dough boys are winning but I would rather be haunted by Reverend Meat than have the dough boys back I can't live with out my emotions I'm sorry Mr. Samsa I've failed you" just then as Johnny picked up a piece of paper and started writing a letter a swarm of cockroaches came into the room and dissolved into a man who looks like he is a used car sales man in a white suit

"who the hell are you wait were you a pile of cockroaches a minute ago" said Johnny looking over the top of the table at him and decided to ignore him instead of killing him and went back to his letter

"come on Johnny just because you can hear the dough boys doesn't mean you failed it just means you aren't trying hard enough?"

"go away..."

"what was that?"

"go the fuck away you pile of bug shit actually just stay there" Johnny then went into the kitchen and looked various boxes in what would pass as a kitchen if the sink wasn't full of bloody and rusty knives and the table wasn't nailed to the window "I'm sure Edgar had some when I met him, ahh there it is!" Johnny then came out of the kitchen with his hands behind his back "boy do I have a surprise for you Mr. Samsa!"

"what could you do that would surprise me?"

"this!" then brought out a can of bug spray and sprayed him in the eyes

"gahhhh, what the hell did you do that for?!" then Mr. Samsa's head started falling apart then Johnny sprayed his mouth arms and legs

"I'll leave you alone for now just think about what you are going to say in the future" then Mr. Samsa burst into a pile of squirming cockroaches on the floor that started scattering away if they weren't dieing then Johnny dropped the bug spray on the floor and went back to finish the letter for Devi:

(see deviation appropriately named Devi's letter)

to Devi-

I'm going to go into the city  
to where I last saw you  
the darkness is throwing a cloth upon my mind  
the city is so black and empty  
Woe is me with out you  
the birds sing no more

yet the voices scream ever so loudly

Without you I cannot be  
without you I am lost  
without you I count the minutes without you  
with you I wished time stood still

and then I tried making it happen  
I now realize something but now it's too late

That it wasn't worth doing it

as I sit here alone

I scream in pain from the wound in my heart  
yet it's now silent and without life

but the voices scream even louder  
and breathing becomes oh so hard for me  
without you I count the seconds without you  
they aren't worth it without you by my side

please forgive me Devi I fear I'm going into a

void that I can not escape please tell me if you

still care about me in the tiniest bit at all

-Johnny c.

(Johnny then got up and left the house to send the letter. Fade to black)

**********


	10. part ten: pick up

PART TEN:  
PICK UP....  
(fade from black to showing The Shadow 5 orbiting above Skitzatos Seven, snap to the lobby of an asylum for cannibals, anorexics and other eating problems with Draconas arguing with one of the nurses)

"I'm sorry were not allowed to just let patients go willy nilly this isn't a jail it's an asylum, once you come in you don't go out till your cured, dead or too severe for us then they're sent else where"

"hmmm I didn't want to do this, Tara screen please" Tara then reached in her coat and pulled out a small rectangle object no bigger than a business card and pressed the black portion of the screen it then began hovering and expanded to the size of a 19 inch monitor then said "**directive?**"

Draconas turned and faced it "the massive, tallest chamber" then Draconas waited a few seconds before a topless and obviously drunk Red answered the phone "wadda youu want?!"

"is it the snackz guy?" shouted Purple while hanging upside down from the roof somewhere off screen

"ummm, we need your praise to let us take Tika with us"

"what ever...listen you stupid spooty nurses, doctors ahhh idiots just give 'im what ever he wantsh, ok"

"come on Red we're waiting" said a few female irkens off screen "well I gots ta go" said Red as a nude Purple streaked past the screen "also any one else in that room deal with them after wards"

"yes my tallest" then the screen turned off and said "**directive?**"

"deactivate" the screen went mini again and returned to Tara

"any problems now?" said draconas eyeing her just waiting for another reason why he cant take her

"well just the fact she isn't on this planet now"

then out side a ship landed on the front door step and an irken in a lab coat with a visor came rushing in "nurse get me a stretcher STAT!"

"I'm sorry just wait over there" then Draconas and crew went over and sat in the waiting room except for Tara who kept watch wanting to see what the commotion was

then the doctor with the visor and the nurse came rushing in with an irken wearing a torn pink straight jacket and was covered in blood and dirt, Tara's antenna's then perked up she then turned into the waiting room and whispered something to Draconas

"hmmm, we'll be here longer than I expected" then Draconas and crew went out side to the dock as Draconas passed the ship he saw puddles of blood in the back he then bent down and looked at one of the syringes then took a sample of the blood then handed it to Tara "get this and analyze it I want to be sure it's her"

"yes I'll get the scientists working on this immediately" then they turned and faced the building then warped back on to The Shadow 5.

(Draconas then parts with Tara and he enters a room with an eerie green glow. Fade to black)

**********


	11. part eleven: anne gwish

PART ELEVEN:  
ANNE GWISH  
(scene opens at Cafe Le Prick with Cleo and Anne sitting in a booth with the window behind them)

"why the hell am I here" whined Anne while looking around with a bored look

Cleo then opened one eye with an annoyed look "shhh, I got a hangover an I need a coffee"

"but so damn early in the morning?" retorted Anne rolling her eyes

"yeah this place stays open 24/7 because they get the Gothic element in here at night"

"they are so sad"

"people with hangovers early in the morning"

"booze hounds"

"and beatniks and wannabe poets come here during the day"

"oh my god! what the hell is that person reading?"

"mmm it says JTHM I think I heard of that shit, it's about some homicidal killer who was an artist/writer or some shit like that"

"it sounds like a shit story, you over there what the fuck you reading?"

the person reading the book put it down on a pile of other books from the series and walked up to Anne "you got a problem with it?"

"holy shit! what is with that shirt, shirts with sayings totally suck"

"get out, I'm tired, and I just want my cherry Brain-Freezy so go away you ugly bitch!"

"you did not just call me an ugly bitch"

"umm, yes I did" then he turned away from her and started walking away

"damn it need a smoke because I'm so stressed out"

he stopped walking and thought for a second then continued back to his table then a cup of coffee flew across the room and splashed all over him

"gaaahhh!, I have had it you stupid bitch" he then jumped up on his table and took out a pair of knives and pointed one at Anne "you are the embodiment of all that I hate!" he then jumped across the room and as he was landing he drove the blades into her shoulders stapling her to the booth

"what the fuck are you doing!" screamed Cleo he then took out another knife and held it point up to her jaw and said "shut up" then jammed it through her skull with the point bursting out of the top splattering grey matter on the side of Anne's face then he turned his attention back to her

"people like you are what have made me crazy!" he then picked up her cigarette and said "you need THIS don't you?"

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU EMO FUCKTARD!" then he just stood there with a blank look on his face as the cigerette dropped out of his hand then said in a quiet tone of voice that would break even the most harden men "emo am I? Then why are you the one with slit wrists?"

"but I don't have..." then he took out a rusty knife out and slit her wrist multiple times while she was screaming and crying with her makeup running down her face "HOWS THAT FOR EMO!"

"uhh, sir your Brain-Freezy is ready" then he dropped the knife and polarized his personality

"ooo, cherry Brain-Freezy!" he then rushed up to the counter smiling and said "how much do I owe you?"

"it's free if you leave now"

"ok, BYE!"

(fade to black as he leaves the shop sucking on his Brain-Freezy)

**********


	12. part tewelve: or delivery

PART TWELVE:  
...OR DELIVERY  
(fade from black to The Shadow 5 orbiting above Skitzatos Seven, snap to Tara walking down the halls of the ship then stopping out side of Draconas's private quarters)

she then knocks on the door some screams can be heard from inside then a panel slides open just big enough to see his eyes "yes?"

"that blood it does belong to her and Klik wishes to speak with you"

"Klik who?"

"the doctor with the visor"

"ah yes...very well, tell him I will see him in a few minutes" then he slammed the panel before she even got a chance to respond then she turned and went back to the bridge Draconas then opened the panel to make sure nobody is out side his door when he is sure nobody is near his room he then opened the door and slinked out while a mysterious green gas and light seeped out of the room then taking brisk steps walked down the hallway breathing out the last traces of the green gas.

~~~~~~~~~~

"yes what is it Klik?"

"I'm afraid Tika won't be able to join you"

"why?"

"because she just passed away" Draconas then paced back and forth mumbling to him self then he turned to the screen and said "is her PAK still intact?"

"yes not a scratch on it that wasn't there before, why?"

"bring me her corpse"

"why? she's dead what could you possibly do with it?"

"that is none of your concern so will you give it to me peacefully or will I rip Skitzatos Seven apart until I find it?"

in a defeated tone Klik replied "fine you win but I'm coming with her to make sure she gets a proper burial"

Draconas then let out a small chuckle "yes, yes I'm sure she will be treated with the uttermost respect"

Klik then eyed him suspiciously and said "I'll be up in a few minutes" then the screen cut out and Draconas turned around and headed to the warp chamber.

~~~~~~~~~~

Klik warped in with a stretcher with a purple body bag on it "ok I'm here now what?"

Draconas said in a blood curdling whisper "follow me" he the started walking down a hall way then Klik followed almost running to try and catch up to him when he final caught up with him he was in a cream colored hall in almost complete silence except for the soft hum of the ship and the anti grav system on the stretcher then Klik broke the silence "where are we going?"

Draconas then looked down at Klik and said "my lab"

then Klik hit the breaks on the stretcher and shouted "you're going to do an autopsy on her!"

"no something else..."

"I'm not going any further until you tell me exactly what you are going to be doing"

"hmmm, if you put it like that..." then Draconas clubbed Klik across the back of his head with his gauntlet knocking him out.

**********


	13. part thirteen: into the lab

PART THIRTEEN:  
INTO THE LAB

Klik then got up off the floor then slowly slid up the wall and dragged himself along the wall still being a bit groggy thought "damn that bastard, when I get to him I will kill him" then after a few seconds he was able to walk without the support of the wall found some troopers and asked them where Draconas's lab was and they replied "he has a lab?"

Klik then wandered the halls for a while then noticed he hadn't seen another irken in a while and thought he must be near it then he found a room with the word "no entry ever" on the door he then knocked on the door and a panel slid open and Draconas looked down at Klik and then slammed it shut then Klik knocked on the door again and Draconas shouted "get lost, I'm busy" then Klik bashed on the door and Draconas opened the panel and said "WHAT?!"

"let me in!"

"YOU'RE A DOCTOR CAN'T YOU READ!" then he slammed the panel shut again then Klik could smell the fluid that smeets are kept in while gestating then Klik started bashing on the door again and the door opened fully and Draconas grabbed Klik by the neck and lifted him off the ground and slammed him into the wall then said "if I let you in you must not ever breath a word to anyone what you see inside got me?"

Klik then nodded and Draconas dropped him on the ground letting him slump on the floor before he picked himself up and entered the dark room Klik then got up while rubbing his neck then went in to the room the door slid shut behind him at first all Klik could see was thousands of little green lights then as his eyes adjusted to the dark his jaw dropped and he said "is this room what I think it is"

"yes it's a brood pen"

"why, do you have a brood pen on board"

"a number of reasons, but the main one is it's easier to make your own recruits when you are far away from irk"

"so why did you bring Tika in here?" said Klik as he was staring at one of the smeets

"research" said draconas looking up from an electron microscope

"what kind of research?"

"follow me" then Draconas got on a hover sled and Klik got on behind him.

(fade to black as Draconas and Klik speed off down the corridor out of sight)

**********


	14. part fourteen: the vaults

PART FOURTEEN:  
THE VAULTS

(fade from black as they stop out side of a large red door with the icons XV on it)

"what do they mean?" said Klik pointing at the icons on the door

"huh? There's no time to explain come, also you might want to put on a bio suit" then Draconas threw a white suit at Klik they then opened the door to reveal a blue room then Draconas stepped on a pair of yellow foot prints on the floor and Klik did the same then the room filled with a white gas then it got sucked out then Draconas opened the next door and it lead to a room that white it almost hurts your eyes, Draconas then walked up to a computer and checked the read outs "hmmm she's progressing nicely"

"where is Tika?" said Klik looking at the seemingly empty room

"that is a trick question, she is over here..." then Draconas opened a morgue draw with Tika on it "...and at the same time she is underneath you" then Klik stepped back and could faintly see a seam on the floor

Draconas pressed a button and the floor opened up and a green tube with a feature less irken was floating in the tube

"what madness is this?" gasped Klik

"the madness of one of our previous tallest's" said draconas looking at a readout

"do the current tallest know of this?" said Klik while he was looking at the tube with one hand on it

"no, nobody knows about this except for me and you, if you check this read out you will find out why I haven't told anyone" then Draconas handed Klik a portable screen then Klik's expression became a focused one and he went to the nearest wall and sat down Draconas then looked over his shoulder and saw him sitting on the floor pressed a few buttons and out of the wall opposite Klik a table, chair and coffee machine slid out

"thanks" he then crossed the room made a coffee and continued to read the notes.

(begin fast framing with Klik drinking his coffee and Draconas occasionally injecting nano bots into the tube crafting the features on the irken inside slowly making it look more like Tika then after a while Klik joins in as well until the body is complete)

"**draining fluid...draining...draining...the subject is now complete...please select PAK for grafting**"

Draconas went to the bench he was working at and picked up Tika's PAK and gave it to the robotic arm the arm then spun it's head to a pair of drills and then measured on her back an distance of 8 inches then drilled into her spine then the head turned to a claw with a pair of silver cones then bored them into the holes in her spine then the head spun to the claw with the PAK and connected it then shocked her she sat there on the floor for a few seconds with a glazed look on her face then she looked at Draconas then at Klik then her expression became one of a scowl then she started growling and crawled her way towards Klik and he pressed him self to the wall and she was a foot away from him then Draconas picked up a large barreled gun and shot her sending her flying against the wall

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR! DID YOU JUST BRING HER BACK TO LIFE JUST TO KILL HER?!" Klik screamed at draconas with his hands in fists at his sides

"look over there" said Draconas pointing to Tika with his chin when Klik saw her, she was failing on the ground like an eel and hissing violently trying to get out of the net that bound her body leaving only her head and feet exposed

"how are we going to explain that she's not dead?"

"she's good at playing dead isn't she, good doctor"

"uh, yeah, good at playing dead, but how are we going to explain that to the people who operated on her?"

"they have already been taken care of"

Klik then raised his eyebrow and said "what did you do to them?" expecting the worst and fearing for poor sputnik

"I just wiped the last few days of their minds"

Klik then ley out a small sigh of relief "so in theory I haven't returned Skitzatos Seven"

"indeed which is why I had your office moved up here"

"so we can go now?"

"oh we have been heading to Devastis since you came on board"

"WHAT! That's smeetnap!"

"I have the tallest's permission to take you and Tika"

"fine, do you have any thing for her to wear?"

"yes I do" then Draconas went to a panel and took a sack then threw it at him and said "I've had my tailors repair it for her"

(fade to black as Klik starts to dress Tika while trying to avoid her claws and teeth)

**********


	15. part fifteen: the boys are back

PART FIFTEEN:  
THE BOYS ARE BACK  
(fade from black to Johnny sitting at the table corner of his room with his chin on his knees)

"it has been days since I left that note for Devi and she hasn't even called me back to yell at me like she normally does I think I shall try to kill myself again if heaven or hell still doesn't want me I'll just come back to kill myself again" "yes this is in order now to kill myself" Johnny then crossed the room reached into his coat and took out a small bottle he then emptied it of its contents he then fell to the ground and started twitching, then when he finally stopped twitching the last thing he saw was the dough boys materializing and when he stopped breathing the only sounds in the house were of the people in the basement moaning

"_**so what are we going to do now we're back in our real bodies?**_" asked D-Boy

"**I'll tell you what we're going to do first we're going to eat some toast then were going to kill that fuck who killed us then once it's out of our way we'll fuck everything up and the only one who could stop us is now gone we are finally, truly FREE**"

(the dough boy's leave the room and slam the door causing the letter to blow off the table and land in front of Johnny revealing the contents of his suicide letter)

-to the bitch who tore out my heart and killed me

Love is a wild animal  
it looks for you  
It nests upon broken hearts  
and goes hunting where there are kisses and candles  
It sucks tightly on your lips  
and digs tunnels through your ribs  
It drops softly like snow  
First it gets hot then cold

now we 're caught between its teeth

It bites, scratches and kicks us  
It holds us tightly with a thousand arms  
and drags us into its love nest  
It devoured us completely  
and retched us back out after many years  
I fell into its trap  
It stared into my eyes  
I was Spellbound when its gaze hit me

now I writhe in agony

Please, please give me poison

so I can end my suffering

-Johnny c.

(transition from the letter to nothingness. nothing is visible except Johnny floating in the fetal position in black nothingness)

"_hmmm so they haven't decided where to put me yet or maybe this is my own personal hell...nothingness this is the best they could come up with, nothing! is that what I'm worth? nothing! I'm not worth being tortured for all eternity in hell or 'live' peacefully in the afterlife? they just throw me here into nothingness! FINE! I'll just create my own realm and if any one comes too close they will wish they were in hell by the time I get bored with them!_" Johnny tries walking then realizes he will need something to walk on if he is going to walk he then remembered the last time he died he was told about some abilities then closes his eyes and groans in concentration then a long Grey ribbon comes out of his ear then Johnny looks at it the keeps on pulling it out until it finally ends then he looked at the tangled lump of ribbon made from concrete "what the fuck am I meant to do with this!" then Johnny kicked the bundle and it rolled out into a foot path in the shape of a semicircle cracks and all

"hmmm neat what next, I know some houses" then Johnny concentrated and some houses burst out of what would pass as the ground all of them pretty similar except for one house that was a greenish color with a mens room door as the front door and had some weirdly shaped pink windows when Johnny started walking towards it he fell off the foot path and started falling into the blackness watching his creation fall upwards away from him then when it was out of sight Johnny fell onto something and just as he was about to start cursing and screaming at who ever put some thing in the middle of nowhere he realized he was sitting on the foot path he just made "okaaaay, falling off doesn't always mean death in my reality..."

(many hours later)

"here I go for attempt 2328" then Johnny jumped off the foot path and mid flight wondered "I wonder what would happen if there was some grass there when I go to land?"

BANG! "ow! who the fuck made gravity! I hate gravity! I fucking hate it! I want it gone" then Johnny then started floating around "maybe a little bit of gravity" then with a squeak he softly landed on some grass "what the fuck! SQUEAK! Fuck the squeaks off too!" then Johnny jumped up and down a few times to make sure the squeaks were gone he then walked up to the green house and opened the door Senor Diablo and St. peter were inside watching the scary monkey show while god was on the table asleep in the next room

"yo, most foul one, come sit *holds out a bucket* have a churro" said st. peter shaking the bucket slightly

"no thanks so what have you guys been doing since I last saw you?"

"hmmm, nothing really was going on in heaven any thing going on in hell senor Diablo?"

"otipeP nos ym htiw htrae no gnivil neeb ev'I wonk I dluow woh"

"I have no idea what the fuck he just said but whatever what are you all doing here?"

"oh that's right your not dead"

"huh?"

"well that "poison" you drank was water, very clean water so when you drank it, it gave you a fit"

"WHAT! I'm gunna kill that fucker when I wake up"

"etal oot" then senor Diablo held up a cage with a little man inside when Johnny looked at the cage he realized it was the man who sold him the "poison"

"can I hold that for a second?"

"erus" then senor Diablo handed the cage over to Johnny then he started shaking the cage bashing the little man inside

"hey does this mean were giant or he's just tiny?"

"?ees erutainim si luos rieht ediced t'nac ro sevlah htob ni selbbad enoemos fi tub ezis lamron si luos rieht neht live ro doog rehtie si enoemos fi efil ni snoitca rieht morf derusaem si luos namuh eht llew" said senor Diablo pointing at the cage

"ummm, still not getting you senor Diablo, but good luck with the shitty language of yours" said Johnny with a shrug

then st. Peter said "he only talks like that because you think he should talk like that"

"so if I imagined he sounded like a chipmunk he would?"

"yes I bloody would"

"bah ha, ha, ha! That is hilarious"

"yeah, bloody funny almost as funny as this" then senor Diablo stood up and in a puff of red smoke that smelt like blood he turned into a cheer leader Johnny then screamed and jumped grabing hold of some piping on the roof

"why the fuck do you have to do that?"

"why the fuck do you have to do this?"

"fine you turn back into your normal self and I'll make you speak your shitty speak!"

senor Diablo then exploded sending chunks of cheer leader and Johnny dodged every piece like it had the plague "nosnaM selrahC htiw tnemtnioppa 04:11 na evah I won lamron ot kcab em gnittup rof sknaht" then senor Diablo burst into a cloud of flames

"anyway onto serious matters soon you will wake and be caught in the middle of a war, what you do will determine the fate of everything living any where now wake up" then st. peter slapped Johnny with a churro knocking him out

Johnny then felt his body gliding upwards then he felt soft warm and fuzzy "fuck I hate feeling like this" then slowly opened his eyes and all he could see was white then he looked around and could see someone sitting nearby with dark red hair "Devi?"

"yes it's me Johnny I went to your house and found you on the floor then I brought you to the hospital"

"what about the dough boys?!"

"don't worry about d-boy and Mr. Fuck"

"how do you know their names Devi?" then the door opened and Neo Mr. Fuck hulked his way into the small room

"**hello Johnny**"

"quick Devi run away!"

"I don't have to because I'm not Devi _**I'm D-boy**_"

"but how you look and sound like her?"

"**it's called possession Johnny, we were deteriorating and needed a host so first we chose you but it's only one of us per mind so you could not handle both of us at the same time, so when you were an inch from death we used your body as a gate way back from between the nightmare realm and your mind but because our bodies aren't something of this world we were slowly dieing then when we went back to your body you were still comatose so we found Devi one of the few other people ready for us so we have been taking turns in this body**"

"fuck! you get out of her body you piece of trash!"

"_**I'm not Mr. Fuck he is**_"

"**oh well time to get moving make way Johnny cause I'm coming in**" then Mr. Fuck launched him self at Johnny and became something with the consistency of chum went down Johnny's throat

"_**did it work?**_"

"**yes, yes it did, now lets go**"

(cut to angle from the door way at eye height as Johnny gets off the bed and Devi gets up and as they walk closer you notice something weird about their eyes as the get closer you can see Johnny and Devi banging on their respective owners eye from the inside then they blink and their eyes are replaced with demonic versions of their regular eyes)

the dough boys walked down the hall with an air of arrogance that strong that if some body pointed a gun in their face they would not care, then a crazy guard jumps out in front of Johnny

"your going to have to come with me because you're mentally unstable!"

"**no**"

"I'm sorry I cant take no as an answer from a crazy person"

"**how about you take your intestines as an answer!**" then Mr. Fuck reached out smashed the Armour he was wearing and put his hand in through his belly button then started pulling his intestines out then put them in his hands and said "**have a wonderful end of the world!**" then smiled at his horrified face as he started going pale the guard then looked at his intestines and then died from shock and loss of blood.

(fade to black as the dough boys make their way out the front door of the hospital killing any one who gets in their way)

**********


	16. part sixteen: fresh meat

PART SIXTEEN:  
FRESH MEAT  
(fade from black out side one of the barracks on Devastis with Draconas, Tara, Xen, Klik with Tika being transported in a cell similar to one of the crates from Jurassic park that the raptors were in)

"welcome to Devastis how may I help you?"

"yes Sergeant, tell me where the elites barrack is?" asked Draconas

"it's down the back to the left, just look for all the empty snackz bags"

"why look for the snack bags?" asked Xen

"well ever since operation impending doom 2 started and the efficiency of the invaders, the demand for elites hasn't been that high so most of them either just lay about the barracks they originated from or go to Foodcortia eating snackz all day"

"it's truly a sad day when the military has no need for the elite...maybe they will open a ward for fat elites at my institute" said Klik

"shall I notify them there may be some work for them?"

"no I want to catch them, not the mask they wear when it's inspection day" said Draconas

"very well hope you take a few"

(short montage of Draconas and his entourage walking to the elites barrack looking at the marines and troopers training and marching around the grounds)

"ok we're here do you mind telling me why we brought Tika?" asked Klik

"that's simple she will get rid of the weak and the strong will survive" then Draconas and Tara grab the cell that Tika is in and moved it up to the door then when there is only an inch left Tara pressed the door bell on the barrack then heard someone in side shout "the foods here" then the sound of the door sliding open then the same person said "who are you, your not the delivery guy?"

"SNACKS!!!" screamed Tika then the cell started rattling as Tika dashed into the barrack then Draconas and Tara moved the cell away from the door and then shut the door and locked it

"what the hell are you doing?" asked a slightly nervous Xen

"well the extremely weak ones will be eaten by Tika, the weak ones if they are smart enough will climb out the window and the stronger ones should be able to hold their own against her" said Draconas

"fine, hey where is Klik?" said Xen

"I'm over here" said Klik as he had his head in one of the windows

"what is she doing?"

"she chases them until they get to the window then she looses interest and then starts to chase someone else"

"ok"

(Draconas, Tara, and Xen leave Klik to watch Tika have fun while they go their separate ways and do various drills with the troopers)

**********


	17. Part seventeen: sparing with the 3rd

PART SEVENTEEN:  
SPARING WITH THE 3RD COMPANY

Tara split off from Draconas and Xen as she headed towards a nearby bunker where a group of troopers were doing various drills of their own and sparring against one another.

"_These soldiers are supposed to be the muscle of the operation but so far I'm not impressed_." Tara thought to herself as she watched them practice.

"Can I help you with something ma'am?" said one of the troopers as he approached her.

"You can in fact." Tara replied to him. "I'm looking for a sparring partner while my mission finishes up."

The trooper gave her a once over no doubt thinking she was in the wrong place for such a feat. "I am turkil." He said after a short pause. "I am also looking for a partner if you will accept me as your opponent."

Tara nodded and followed him to the platform which was used for such activities, she noticed as they were approaching the platform that they were gathering quite a crowd around them whispering and jeering with curious looks. Tara jumped onto the platform after Turkil removing her jacket so she would be able to move more easily.

"_maybe I should go easy on him to start off so he won't be completely embarrassed._" She thought to herself with a slight smile "_the male pride was such a delicate thing after all_" Though if she had known he was thinking the exact same thing she might not have been so merciful in her thoughts.

"are you prepared?" he asked her in which she confirmed with a curt nod.

Both opponents started the same sizing each other up trying to tell the weaknesses and strengths they could exploit. Tara knew that most troopers relied heavily on their strength and agility to win battles and usually their downfall was speed, she herself was balanced in all retrospects but when it comes to opponents that specialize in one statistic it was a mistake to underestimate them.

By now the crowd that had gathered around the ring for their fight was larger then before and consisted of mainly heavy troopers who were curious as to why this fight was about to commence. Tara didn't let their presence distract her so she was ready when Turkil attacked her trying to flank her from the right with a straight punch, Tara ducked the attempt then launched herself from the ground for more force and caught him by surprise with an uppercut of her own which made him lose his balance slightly and stumble backwards. The crowd was stunned into silence which was the exact expression on Turkil's face as well as he rubbed his jaw which was slightly stinging.

"I see you are more then you look." He said narrowing his eyes slightly. "I will not underestimate you again so lightly."

"_good now were getting somewhere_." Tara thought to herself, he then charged at her again this time straight at her when he was close enough she then vaulted off his knee and flipped over his back then booted him in the small of his back causing him to fall flat on his face

he stood up and spat out a glob of blood on the platform many of the troopers completely silent as he cautiously circles her his foot work graceful yet clumsy at the same time he then reached out with a back hand to the chest she then spun to her left and got behind him and used his back as if it were a pole and swung around him and kneed him in his gut with all her effort

Turkil just laughed at he as she leapt to the edge of the plat form and in a demanding tone Tara said "whats so funny?"

"how week that was, i've been hit by grunts harder than that" he scoffed

tara then let her anger get the better of her and as she started to run she cam to a sudden stop and looked down at her ankle and saw one of the heavy troopers holding onto her leg she then booted him in the jaw then turned back to the fight turkil was racing at her and before she could realize what was happening he hit he in the jaw with a massive right hook she then went flying through the air spinning like an ice skater through the air and landed hard

she was promptly picked up by the troopers roughly and pushed and shoved as she made her way to the platform punching a few as they copped a feel

"welcome back" said turkil as he bowed to her

she then rushed straight at him and booted him in the face as he was still bowing and as he sprang up in pain tara let loose a volley of precise punches to his abdomen and then she jumped up and round house kicked him in the side of the head that hard it almost on Par with Bruce Lee's kicks and he fell to the ground unconscious

as Tara stood victorious over the heavy trooper she cracked her neck thinking about having another fight maybe a 2 on one match then her coat started beeping she then crossed to the seats with the heavy troopers parting like water as she made her way through them then at the end stood a heavy trooper who refused to move then said in a Russian accent

"come on little voman take me on, I vager you vill bite the dust" Tara then sized him up he stood two foot taller than the others had a missing antenna, yellow eyes and unusually dark skin, was as wide as one and a half normal heavy troopers and adorned in a mean looking suit of armor, Tara then dug in her belt and took out a small black ring and kept it concealed from him then she lunged at his face and attached the ring to his antennae then vaulted behind him and tried kicking him in the small of his back and he refused to budge then Tara saw he had no PAK

"my turn now" then he turned to Tara and grabbed her by the leg and lifted her in the air and this pissed her off

"I didn't want to do this except as a last resort but I really don't like you now" then Tara reached in her belt again and took out a small black rectangular box with grooves for fingers on one side then flipped the lid and she said "put me down gently and I'll leave you alone"

"I don't think so if vord gets out that the 3rd company was beaten by a girl we would be the laughing stock of the irken military, so I end you now"

"oh well I gave you fair warning" then Tara pressed the button on the device in her hand and the heavy trooper dropped her and started clawing at his antennae screaming in pain then when she saw it was starting to split she pressed the button again and he was sprawled out on the ground panting, she then walked up to him and took the ring off his antennae

"who are you?" asked the heavy trooper

"I'm Tara lieutenant of The Shadow 5 and who are you?"

"I'm SMOKE-DEM and it is my honor to be defeated by you" then he got up and dropped his antennae into a non aggressive pose and bowed to her

"what does knowing my name have to do with it being a great honor?"

"not your name but word of mouth, it is said only the most powerful irkens are allowed on The Shadow 5 and to be chosen worthy by you to fight is almost as great of an honor as being drafted as an elite"

"how would you like to see if you're worthy enough to join The Shadow 5?"

"you truly think I vould be able to?"

"it's not up to me but I think you would be able to impress Draconas, come we'll met him at the elites barrack"

"i vill meet you there, I vill go get my weapons" he then bashed his fist on his chest plate and turned to his fellow troopers and after a few seconds of almost silence the crowd burst into cheers and were patting him on his back

Tara then went to her coat and took out her phone and it read "1 missed call" she then hit redial and waited a few seconds "yes...ok...she's done...I'll be there, also i'm bringing a candidate...k, cya" then put the phone back in her coat pocket then buckled it back on and headed to the elite barracks


	18. Part eighteen: the new recreuits

PART EIGHTEEN:

THE NEW RECRUITS

"ok, easy, easy, now throw the smeet snack in the the cell" then Xen threw it in and they slammed the cell against the door and scattering noise could be heard then the back of the cell banged as Tika lunged at the smeet snack then Draconas and Klik slammed the doors shut the the cell began shaking violently then they dragged it back and entered the hall and there was blood splattered every where

Tara then entered the room and nodded and said "sir" then saluted and got in her usual stance of her arms behind her back and feet apart "all right everyone who still has all their limbs file out side and be ready for presentation" then a group of elites started filing out of the hall then Draconas handed Tara a gun and left her alone after every body was out she started spraying everything with an orange goo while stepping towards the exit and avoiding the substance like the plague then when she stepped out one of the elites asked her

"what the blortch were you spraying on my shit?"

"organic sweep fluid"

"fuck man I had a pet in there"

"what was it?"

he then had an awkward look on his face then he kicked the ground then said "i kept a Vortian under my bed in a ditch I made"

"why did you have a Vortian? did it make repairs on your armor or guns?" asked a sinister looking Draconas

then a huge grin spread on the elites face "i kept one there because them Vortian bitches are tigh-"

Draconas then thrust a hand gun in the elites face and said "it's fucks like you that cause the universe to hate us" then he pulled the trigger and blew his brains out splattering them on the wall of the building they were lined up on then he ripped his PAK off, handed it to Klik and said "hold on to this"

SMOKE-DEM joined the line up just as draconas regained his composure "ok now people I will ask you some questions *starts walking up and down the line like a drill instructor* you answer me you don't answer me depending on the question you either get back in your tin can and forget everything you see today or you join this dickhead" then kicked the dead elites head causing part of it to collapse then he marched to the end of the line and looked up at the giant irken "who are you?" he then replied "I am SMOKE-DEM"

"how long have you served the empire?" "150 irken years"

"what company did you serve?" "the 3rd company"

"who do you serve?" SMOKE-DEM hesitated for a second then replied "the empire"

"good answer now wait over there" then Draconas approached the next recruit who stood just above his elbow height "who are you?" the small sleepy looking irken replied "Sid"

"how long have you served the empire?" "250 irken years"

"you have some experience good." "well for the record I wasn't paying that much attention for 97 of those years." draconas then narrowed his eyes

"What makes you think you deserve to be aboard the Shadow 5?" Sid tilted his head as small beeps came from his left eye. "the fact that right now I can see 13 flaws in your armour and with some modifications you can reduce you ships take off time by 15.3 seconds"

"hmm, why do you serve?"

"Just trying to keep the empire going."

"over there, ok your name?"

"Bobby..."

Draconas hesitated for a second then continued "how many years?" "130 irken years"

"and what do you do?" "i build stuff, repair stuff and never sleep"

"and why do you serve?"

"i have a promise to fulfil to a friend"

"you should keep your friends close and your enemy's closer" said Draconas while staring deep in his eyes "go over there, I'm not sure what it is but there is just some thing that perks my interest about you, Lets see you! State your name."

"Medic Aid sir"

"is that your name or rank?" Chimed in Tara

"both sir"

"hmmm, how long have you served the empire?"

"well sir after smeethood I was in regular maternity for a decade, then I transferred to the smeet hatchery for 56 years after that i was called to be an assistant on the Massive working with Irk's top scientists on pain reducers. when one day a shuttle carrying wounded soldiers had to make an emergency landing at our facilities I was forced to learn fast and was able save a commanding officers life, after that he offered me a chance to serve with him and his personal unit and th-"

"He didn't ask your life's story just answer the Question." came Tara again Aid blushed a darker shade of green out of embarrassment.

"Forgive me sir 278 years excluding vacation time of course."

"What makes you think you deserve to be apart of my-"

"Ahem" Tara cleared her throat.

"Our crew."

"Well i am one of the top medic's in the empire and have experience treating battle wounds, I also hope I can find some way to help Lieutenant Tara's night blindness."

Draconas look over to his secret life mate for a second before eyeing the new recruit Questionably and asked "Why do you serve?" Aid put her hands behind her back and glanced down Draconas could tell she was nervous, Aid finally stuttered out an answer "Well that's what all Irkens should do right? Serve for there empire without question...I mean th-that's what this mission is all about."

"very well get over there we may need a field medic and who are you?" said draconas to an irken fully adorned in red and it didn't surprise draconas that is eyes were red too "I am irken invader Brayan, sir"

"How long have you served the empire?"

"That is a very stupid question, sir. All my life of course!"

"hmm got some spunk huh, What makes you think you deserve to be recruited?"

"Well, for first - I have made much invading and did my job so well that I have been asked to become an Elite. I declined, because I thought I needed to improve all my skills first. I am still trying my best to be as an efficient invader-soon-to-be-an-elite. Anything else you'd like to know, sir?"

"then why aren't you currently invading?"

"I am not currently invading because I have already invaded the maximum number of planets. Plus, I am giving other invaders a chance to show how great am invaders they can be."

"very well Why do you serve?" "I serve because that is what I have been taught since birth. Is that all, sir? Yes that will be all the rest of you maggots get lost-"

"WHAT! I'm twice the elite some of them are" then tara ran up to the elite who spoke out and kneed him in the gut then punched him in the face and as she was about to ad his body to the dead elite on the ground Draconas caught her arm and stopped her from killing him and said "leave him for the vortians" then tara straightened up and went back to her usual self

Just as they were about to Call For Liftoff the Drill Sargent that was posted at the gates approached them and said "i have orders from the tallest you are to take these rookies here out and show them combat, the ones who return will be rewarded with instant marineship"

Draconas looked back over his shoulder and at him and the squad that looked like it held about 24 troopers and moaned "just stay out of my way and you will live longer"

the troopers then gave a mixed yes sir like they had just been thrown together now and never operated before and thought to himself "_typical invader candidate filth...._"

(fade to black as they are teleported onto the shadow 5)


	19. Part Nineteen: trespassers

PART NINETEEN:  
TRESPASSERS

(on board The Shadow 5 during "night" while most irkens are sleeping a pair of shady looking irkens block off a section of hallway with a quiet buzzing is coming from behind one of the walls in the hall as screws are fall to the floor then a panel falls and is caught just before it falls to the ground)

out of the hole in the wall steps Lard Nar he then propped the panel against the hole hoping the irkens who were still awake wouldn't notice then he saluted to the irkens on guard duty and they saluted back then he hid in the shadows and dashed off occasionally checking a mini map attached to his watch leading him to his objective he knew if he failed this mission he would die he then reached the teleporter room and as he was about to press the activate button he stopped less than in inch from using it and whispered to him self "I should use the stairs so they won't know who done 'it'" he then rushed to the stairs and looked down "oh man I really wish I could use the teleporter, nav map how many stairs until I reach the target?"

"15997 steps until you reach the target" came it's quiet electronic almost bored sounding voice

"awww, come off it, it can't really be that many?"

"yep"

"curse you Irkens!"

(fade to black as Lard Nar starts running down the stairs)

(fade from black to lard nar still running down the stairs)

"surely I'm near the end?" he looks over the rail and the stairs still seem to be endless

"nope you're still 8024 steps away" chimed his nav map

"shut up who asked you?"

"well you sure didn't ask that irken behind you" it retorted

he then spun around and saw the irken standing behind him and they both screamed at the same time then the irken aimed a rife at him ans shouted something in irken

"eh?" said lard nar with a confused face

the short blue eyed irken then closed his eyes for a second as his PAK hummed Lard dared not to move because he still felt that the irken could see him then the irken opened his eyes and started speaking in vortian "what are you doing vortian sock?"

"hey! I am not a sock!"

"you are so sock!" said the irken thrusting the rifle in his direction "just put your mums in the air!"

"my mums?" said lard nar even more confused now

"yes your mums!"

"but I have only got one mum and she isn't here"

"vortian's have pie and tuna mums? You pretty sock"

"why am I a sock or more importantly did you just call me pretty?"

"because our fatheaded midgets said so!"

then Lard realized why he sounded like a retard he was using a defective translator made by Vortians as a joke and decided to go along with it "ok I'll put my mums up" then lard stunned him with a power amplifier that was build into his belt causing the trooper to become a blithering idiot he then went and opened his PAK then pulled out a portable memory device then downloaded the irkens memory apparently his name was Tyiop and he then removed the last hour of memory and replaced it with one he had made earlier showing him releasing "it" he then inserted the new memory device then propped him up and left him sleeping in the corner of the stair well

(fade to black as lard nar continues running down the stairs)

(fade from black to lard nar about to die from exhaustion falling down then looked at the door and let out a sigh of relief)

"nav map?"

"yes?"

"remind me to bring a jet pack next time"

"is that a memo?"

"no it's a mission parameter" he then got up and dusted him self off then pried the door open reveling the cargo bay he then looked around and spotted several technicians playing a card game he then jumped out and commando rolled behind some boxes and crept behind them using them as cover and then he spotted his prize the mobile cell "_now to find Klik"_ then he spotted him playing with several syringes and bottles of liquid of various colors Lard Nar then skulked up behind Klik and just as he was about to stun him

"don't make me take off my visor" said Klik as he was tapping the side of it

"and what would happen then?"

"you don't want to know, so why are you here?"

"I just wanted to take her for a walk and to feed her"

"although what your proposing is wrong she could use the fresh air and some snacks"

"so your not going to stop me?"

"hmmm, talking to myself, if I keep this up I'm going to be put in an asylum, I need coffee time for break"

"don't you ignore me!"

"as I said, talking to my self!" then Klik got up and went to the mess hall.

Lard Nar then went to the cell and opened the door and she was sitting in the corner asleep in her straight jacket with muzzle on drooling slightly he then walked up to her and took the muzzle off successfully then when he was unfastening her straight jacket it caused her to wake up she then swiped at him and then jumped over to the other side of the cell and sized up her "snack"

Lard Nar then screamed like a little girl "oh right your snackz" he then reached into his sack and took out a smeet snack

Tika stopped growling instantly and switched into her happy personality "cookie?"

"yes Tika you want the cookie don't you?"

Tika then nodded while drooling at the mouth, he then threw the smeet snack at Tika who then caught it in her mouth and started chewing on it and after she finished with it's head swallowed the body whole Tika then looked at him sideways and said "cookie?"

he then reached into his sack and took out another and started backing out of the cell with Tika following once Tika was out of her cell he threw the smeet snack at the technicians who were playing cards.


	20. part twenty: let the hunt begin

PART TWENTY:

LET THE HUNT BEGIN...

(one minute ago)

"ha, you think you can win?" said the green eyed tech

"yeah I know I can!" said the pink eyed tech

"well back that up" said green

"right I raise you this!" said pink putting 1000 monies on the table

"hmmmm" then he let out a dejected sigh "damn it I fold, lets see what you got"

"I got a massive, a tallest, an elite, an invader and a 10 of-" then something hit him in the head knocking him out of his chair from surprise "what the blortch?, is this a smeet?"

then a few of the other technicians came around and saw the smeet snack "who would do such a thing to a poor little smeetling"

"it's dead, he didn't even have a PAK" said pink then the other technicians had scared looks on their faces and ran off than pinks arm felt numb when he looked back to the hand he was holding the smeet in was missing and Tika was sitting there chewing on his hand and the smeet at the same time pink then felt weak from the loss of blood and fell to the ground Tika then looked on the table and picked up a card and folded it so it had a point then started hacking off the technicians leg using it as a crude stabbing tool once she got to the bone she then snapped it off and started chewing on his leg while watching his horrified face turning pale then noticed something funny about the taste she then spat it out remembering the drugs they put in her food. She then looked at him and watched his eyes darken.

(fade to black as she runs down a hall looking for someone else to eat)

(fade from black as she skulks in the hallways antennae waiving wildly)

only 3 things were going through her mind as she was wondering the halls of The Shadow 5 they were "_snacksnacksnacksnack" "she must kill it" and the third was a suppressed crying._

anger was annoyed with the other two always complaining and this drove her crazy and decided not to listen to her thoughts making her more primal. She then climbed up the wall and using her sharpened claws and started crawling along the roof because she knew no one ever looked at the roof then a trooper with the card playing technicians started heading her way she recognized the technicians smell but wondered what the new smell tasted like so she turned her self around and waited until the trooper was right under her then she dropped down on top of him and ripped his throat open in one bite she loved the taste it was what she loved, she had missed the taste of fresh flesh, she wanted more then she dragged him off and once she was in what she presumed was a secluded area found a cutting tool in his boot took it out it and sliced through his bone with ease and commenced sucking the bone dry eating the marrow and all the flesh by the time she had finished her blood lust was raging she wanted more

"_WANT...no...need more"_ her mind was racing then she could smell people outside the smelt similar to the trooper so she jumped up and tore open a hole in the air ducts and proceeded crawling around in them trying to find more snacks then saw a group of troopers checking the blood stains on the floor as the troopers started moving then one of them got a call

"hello?...who is this?...talk damn it!...fine what ever don't talk you freak!" then hung up and as he was putting the phone away Tika dropped down snapped his neck and then took his body into the air ducts and as she was heading back to her secluded area she could smell people in there she then thought she could take them when she was back at the hole she made just as she was about to stick her face out a trooper stuck his head in the air duct with a torch next to his head he looked left and saw nothing then when he looked right just as he was about to scream but remained calm trying not to provoke her then her face had a look of sadness the trooper felt sorry for her he showed kindness and tried coaxing her out of the air duct she started scrambling back in there then she smiled crept ford and licked his face he felt weird then she smirked at him crawled ford and then Tika bit his face off causing his body to fall to the ground then all the troopers switched on their torches and aimed it at the hole and could see Tika just sitting there chewing on his face with her's covered in blood then Draconas entered the room and Tika squinted her eyes at the sight of him and hissed "tall cookie man" then got on all fours and dashed away in the air ducts

"get me Klik" then Draconas left and went to his inner sanctum.


End file.
